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Jan. 23rd, 2006 | 09:14 pm
mood: melancholy melancholy

We found out tonight that we will be moving in May. Hopefully we will be able to get out of here a bit sooner but as of now it appears that May will be it. Daniel talked to Catreace tonight and confirmed that she will indeed be moving back into her home after our lease is up. Daniel is calling Jason, the person whom his mom bought her property from, tomorrow to see what he has in the way of homes for sale or rent. I am not real thrilled about this because I just can't really imagine trying to move all of our crap out of this house. We are going to start packing this weekend so that we can get a head start on things. We simply must find a house at least as big as the one we are in. If we don't then we are going to have to downsize considerably.

I know the whole thing with God being sovereign. I don't doubt that a bit but when you are walking blindly into the future you tend to do it cautiously. God has led me through many a valley and I don't underestimate His ability to do so once again. I am so concerned.

My neck is absolutely killing me. I am dealing with such a great amount of pain right now and I just don't know why. I have tried everything and I can't find any relief. I asked Toby tonight if he had any Lortab he could spare. I know he has taken it for his knee in the past and I figured he might have some he could give me. He said he didn't. I keep thinking I would feel a whole lot better if I could just get a good night's sleep. I am so miserably uncomfortable and in so much pain at night that I can't manage to get any sleep whatsoever. My neck is stiff and sore all day and Motrin isn't even touching it. I need something stronger but without insurance to go to the doctor, I can't even begin to consider getting my neck looked at. I can barely turn my head and my head itself is throbbing most of the time. I am sure Toby thinks I am some sort of a drug addict but that's really not the case. I would just kill for some relief right now.

Well, time to go get some laundry done before bed. 6:30 comes early.

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THIEF!

Jan. 17th, 2006 | 11:23 am
mood: awake awake

I swiped this from Melissa. I love this kind of stuff. I am such a cheesygeek!

**********************


8 Have You Evers

Have You Ever Dated a Best Friend: Yes!
Have you ever been arrested: Yes.
Have you ever danced with no music: Probably
Have you ever been on TV: Yes.
Have you ever kissed someone and regretted it: Yes, many times.
Have you ever cheated on your bf/gf: Technically, I cheated on my ex-husband.
Have you ever been on a blind date: Not that I can recall.
Have you ever been out of the country: Officially, yes. Not really, though.

***********************************

7 Things you are wearing

1. Scrunchie
2. Alice Cooper t-shirt
3. Wedding band
4. Engagement ring
5. Underwear
6. Contacts
7. Daniel's sweat pants

********************************

6 Things you have done today

1. Got the kids out the door for school.
2. Slept.
3. Watched last night's RAW at 2am.
4. Pee'd.
5. Recited the Sh'ma.
6. Talked to Daniel.

*****************************

5 Favorite Things

1. Talking to Daniel.
2. Playing Animal Crossing.
3. Eating.
4. Midrash at home.
5. Hanging out with the kids.

*********************************

4 people you most trust (in no particular order...)

1. Daniel
2. Cary
3. Bridget
4. Jay
**********************************

3 Choices (Or so to speak)

1. Vanilla or Chocolate: It depends on what time of the month it is :-P
2. Hugs or Kisses: I love hugs! Daniel's kisses are divine, though!
3. Pens or Pencils: Definitely pens.

***********************************

2 Things you want to do before you die

1. Go to Israel.
2. Have a living child with Daniel.

**************************************

1 famous person you want to meet: John Cena

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(no subject)

Jan. 16th, 2006 | 10:37 pm
mood: tired tired

Today was so insanely boring. I went to work at 9:30 and got off at 4:30. Talk about a lame day. Alex got there at 1:30 and made the day go a little quicker since I had someone to at least talk to. I mean, he is cro-magnon boy extraordinaire but it's better than talking to myself or even to the freaking morons that come shopping at my store.

People are stupid.

I don't think people are intentionally stupid most of the time but I do think that the general populus is gradually becoming dumber. It centers around laziness. People don't 'have' to think for themselves anymore so they just don't. They walk in my store and ask stupid questions. When you give them a simple answer, they don't comprehend what you are saying to them. Why? I don't understand. When you point to a shelf and tell someone that the black and white houndstooth Bear Bryant hats are located there and the person proceeds to look directly at the hats and say in a disgusted tone, "Where?! I don't see them!", you tend to lose faith in humanity. Less is expected of people so people just do what is expected of them, at most. The longer I work retail the smarter I feel. It's sad when you look forward to computer failures so that you can have some intelligent conversation (with the freaking IT guy!). I'd love to have a job like that.

Raw was full of suck, tonight. John Cena took the Masterlock Challenge and looked like a complete moron in doing so. I can't stand Chris Masters. Edge and his ho-bag, Lita, had to smack-talk all night. That was lame. Kurt Angle and HBK fought. Angle lost. Unfortunately, it wasn't a title match. I don't like Angle, either. I am not a big HBK fan but he rules compared to Kurt Angle. The night ended with Ric Flair and Edge in a TLC title match. How stupid. Ric Flair needs to go to Florida and enjoy retirement. At least he isn't as orange as his geriatric friend, Hulk Hogan. He lost the TLC match and stupid Edge retained the title. Joy. Edge is a douche bag. He isn't even fun to dislike.

Well, Daniel said I could get my hair cut. I am kind of glad. I look more and more like a Mennonite as my hair grows. Daniel hadn't told me I couldn't get my hair cut or anything but he did want to see what it looked like long. It isn't really too impressive. I wonder why it is that some women grow their hair out and look like Susan Storm and then some women, like myself, look like someone aspiring to be Crystal Gayle's long lost twin.

School is eluding me. My training to be a medical transcriptionist is becoming a distant memory. I don't have time for school anymore. I am thinking of just going forward with the mid-term to see how I do. If I suck at it then I can go back and do the classwork and then try again. I just want to be through it. Next month will be a year since I started it all. This has been an incredibly fast year. What I wouldn't give to be working in medical transcription right now.

I had a lot more to say but I think I am going to grab an hour's worth of sleep before Daniel gets home from work. I am beat and want to feel the soft bed beneath my back.

So long and good night....

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(no subject)

Jan. 14th, 2006 | 09:45 pm
mood: chipper chipper
music: Oh Brother, Where Art Thou Soundtrack

Well, another day is over and I am just as unmotivated as I was yesterday. I swear I don't know what is wrong with me. I just have zero motivation. I loved the way life was when Daniel was at Cingular and we had this smooth schedule. I am a creature of habit and I love predictability when it comes to what I am going to do each day. I don't mind a change-up now and again but for the most part, I like routine. I have to work tomorrow which sucks. I really dislike my job right now. I don't dislike my company or anything but honestly, the boredom is going to make me cannibalize. I am going to eat someone or chew my own arm off or something. I can't imagine how Cary works eight-hour days. I would go nuts. I work four hours tomorrow which hardly seems worth the seventy miles I will drive to and from the mall. I have next Sunday off and then the Sunday after that I work with my least favorite co-worker, a woman named Michael. I have no idea why her name is Michael but she is like forty-five and never been married so maybe others also take issue with her name. She isn't an 'ugly' woman but she definitely needs to lose the feathered hair, have a date with L'oreal and update her jeans a bit. I have a feeling if she'd just do that then she'd be very attractive. Maybe cut the control-freak bit, too.

I can't believe how fast time is already passing. In less than four months Daniel and I will celebrate our year anniversary. How exciting! I am so incredibly happy. I cannot put my feelings into words because there simply aren't words that describe the level of my happiness. I am in a constant state of joy. I wonder at times if the feelings will wane over time but I just don't think they will. I am so filled with peace and joy that I know these feelings can only be given by God. I know that He is blessing me and my life in ways that I have never, ever felt blessed. I have my moments, like I did when I was so depressed the other night, but fortunately those don't last. Those moments are driven entirely by my weight. I am obsessed with weight and with food. It's a paradox, I guess. I honestly can't imagine a happier life and a more content soul. I have this physical happiness that comes from my relationship with Daniel. He is my best friend. He is the person I tell all to and the person to which I want to be with forever more. On top of that I have this wonderful relationship with Y'shua that supercedes anything I have ever known. As I delve into Scripture more and more I see the love that God has for me. He made me totally depraved yet provided me a way to His presence through the greatest sacrifice that could have been made. I have learned so much this past year and I know I will continue to learn this year. I want to shout from the rooftops just how complete I feel! I don't feel complete in a theological sense, though. Don't get me wrong! I don't want to sound self-righteous and indignant. I have miles to go and every piece of understanding that I have is that which comes from God, the Father as well as God, the Son. I do not take any credit for the depth of my understanding. I deserve Hell. We all deserve Hell. For those of us blessed enough to be called His Elect, I say: Praise Him!!! For He is righteous and we are not. His righeousness is credited to us, though, through the wonderful work that was done on the cross. WOW! AWESOME!

I am still trying to find a way to Israel. We have pretty much decided that we won't be going on XI. I have a different agenda than that of XI and so does Daniel. We want to see more of the land and not be bound by the XI itinerary. I'd love to visit the land with Justin and Rabbi Ben but right now we are just not feeling it at all. We checked into some prices today for Holy Land tours. There was one in particular that jumped out at me. It is going to cost us about thirty-five hundred per person so we have a lot of saving to do. I wish so desperately that Road Trip would go to UMD and then we'd get a big check. I know that if and when that happens, we will use that money for a trip to Israel. My desire to be in the land grows daily. I need to breathe the air in God's land. I need to walk where Messiah walked.

WARNING: Geek material follows!

Monday brought a little sadness. John Cena lost the title to Edge. Edge? WTF?....Edge? What a complete moron. And Lita...geez, don't get me started on that nonsense! I hate that The Champ is no longer the champ but the pressure is off a little and maybe he can build back a little credibility. Probably not, though. The dude is cool. I like him, even though the mass majority in my house opposes him.

I need to get a cell phone. I am not sure which route I am going to go, though. I don't want to use Cingular because I just don't want to give them any business. I don't want to use Verizon because their stupid website is hard to navigate and they are expensive. That pretty much leaves T-Mobile, which I am very impressed with as far as the aforementioned issues go. I can't get on a regular service plan because my credit sucks but I can get the limited access post-paid plan or the standard pre-paid. I also have the option of a Trac-Fone. [read: trailer trash fone] Mom said she'd buy me a Trac-Fone for Valentine's Day but I don't know. I just don't really 'want' to go that route. I have never had to deal with any of this because up until September I had always been married to someone in the wireless industry. I am thinking of asking Toby if I can pay him $25 a month and use his other ERP line. If he meets another, "The One" then he can just take my line away and give it to her and I can deal with all of this later on. I'd really love to have one of the new Cingular push-to-talk phones. How cool.

Yay! In an hour-and-a-half I will go get Daniel from work. I hate these late nights but I plan to make the very most of this one. Hehehe...

You are all a bunch of sick things!

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Depression

Jan. 11th, 2006 | 09:31 pm
mood: depressed depressed
music: Effin' Tina Turner...

I think the dreaded D-word has hit me. I have gained a number of pounds in the last few days. Since Thanksgiving I have gained a total of about nine pounds. I look in the mirror and see nothing but fat. I eat all the time. I can't stop. I don't know why. I don't even really enjoy eating because I feel guilty when I do it. It's almost like an addiction right now. I wish there was a cure for this. I am miserable. It's never a matter of believing Daniel won't love me if I am fat. I know he'll love me regardless. It's simply a matter of me being able to like who I see when I look in the mirror. Right now, I hate everything about me.

I've pretty much given up on ever being able to have more children. It was a pipe dream and I should never, ever have let myself believe that I was going to be able to get pregnant. I sometimes want to believe that David never existed. Maybe he didn't. Maybe I had some sort of tumor or cyst growing in my tube that somehow caused me to produce HCG. The idea that I could be pregnant is really very absurd and I just can't help but think that what I thought was a pregnancy was just a misunderstanding. I've thought lately about Daniel finding someone with whom he could make a child. Eventually, he is going to resent me for not being able to give him the child that he longs for. He swears that he won't but I don't know that he is thinking with his head. If he were to find a person who could give him a child it would kill me but how could I blame him? He needs to carry on his heritage and I am not the person who can do this with him. I buried my fertility when I birthed my son almost eight years ago.

I wanted so badly to focus on Israel and the hope I had of returning to the land. I thought that might take my mind off of wanting a baby so much but a trip to Israel is not going to be possible for quite a long time. We are lucky to afford a trip to Wal-Mart these days, let alone a trip somewhere. I wonder if anything will ever take my mind off of wanting another child.

My iTunes was completely erased, somehow.

I have the most boring job in the universe. Tomorrow I get six hours of the same boring crap again.

At least shabbat is coming.

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It Is SHABBAT!

Jan. 7th, 2006 | 01:37 pm
mood: quixotic quixotic

Yay! My day of rest=a day of cleaning. This house still looks like a freaking dump. I have a half-assembled den with video game systems and entertainment tiers (wtf are entertainment tiers, anyway???)all over the place. We dismantled the wall unit that we had in there with the smaller (32") TV on it and replaced it with those tiers and a 45" TV. What that leaves me is an ass-load of TV and an ass-load of wall behind it. I need one of those awesome Home Interiors water-color prints in the pretty gold frame, I somehow don't see it blending too well with the Beatles and Elvis that are on the opposite wall.

My front room is equally as disastrous since there are speakers everywhere. Daniel is moving the surround sound in there along with the 32" TV. That TV will primarily be for the kids to watch dvd's on but also for movie watching if we have the group here. The kids have their TV's all set up in their bedrooms so eventually I would like to add dvd players to their set-up. Courtney and Hannah share an XBox so if we just buy a remote for that then they can use that as their dvd player. I need to get cable run to each bedroom as well as the front room but I have a feeling it will be awhile before anyone is motivated enough to do anything about that. Jordyn doesn't have a game system or a dvd player in her room so her TV is basically worthless. We need to make another dump run but unfortunately we don't really have enough stuff for that. Maybe I can just unload this old 25" TV on the thrift store. Someone there can probably fix what's wrong with it or use the good parts for another TV. I just need it out of my house so that life can return to normal. Normal for me equates to having a clean house. I know, I am weird.

My vacuum broke the other day. That is really a bad thing around here. I need a new vacuum terribly but finances dictate that I will just have to make due for the time being. Make do with what is the million dollar question. Probably going to be a broom until further notice. Daniel does not share in my anxiety over not having a functioning vaccum.

Interesting note here...I listed all of Daniel's Cingular shirts on ebay. I thought I might try and get enough money to pay for Jordyn's honor choir trip which, incidentally, Toby paid for. Hmm....maybe now this could be vacuum money... I took the opportunity to take a pot shot in the item description at Susan, the manager who fired Daniel. I got an email from a guy named Tim at Planet Cellular wondering if Daniel would be interested in working for them. They are the largest wireless agent in the Southeast. The contract with Cingular, Verizon, T-Mobile, NexTel/Sprint, all the biggies. Tim turned out to be a really nice guy. He said that at least 95% of Planet Cellular is Christian. I don't know if that is a gross exaggeration or not but it sounds like a nice place to work. Daniel is going to send his resume over to Tim and see what happens. I grow less hopeful by the day that Avanti is going to call back. I wish they would but I just have this feeling they won't.

Meanwhile, I am still plugging along at Bama Fever. I am watching as the new Asst. Manager is training. It's a little depressing to watch him learn the day-to-day things about the company. I would have gladly accepted the position as Asst. Manager. I know all the things that Alex is learning. I know all of it but it just doesn't matter. Alex has no loyalty to the company, he has no knowledge of the company and he has no right to the position that he is in. What can anyone do about it? Nothing. It's a boy's club and Alan doesn't really care about women unless they are seventeen and have firm boobies for him to press against when he hugs them.

Oh well. Break time is over. I need to stop whining and get back to something.

Lenny and Varda.....oy....

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It's Only Tuesday?

Jan. 4th, 2006 | 12:58 am
mood: horny horny
music: Ozzy=Ultimate Suckage

It seems like it should be at least Saturday by now. The good/bad thing is I am off tomorrow. I desperately need the hours but I almost as desperately need to get the house cleaned up. Now that Chanukah is over with I was able to get the final holiday decorations put away. We had something like twelve boxes of decorations. I have absolutely no excuses left for why the house looks like a junkyard.

We made a visit to the hospital tonight to visit Ronnie. Ronnie is Daniel's former step-father. Ronnie is dying. It's sad, really. He looked so sweet and peaceful laying there. he talked with us for a bit. Daniel tried to find out if Ronnie has a personal relationship with Yeshua. Ronnie says he does but his wife, Sib, is unsure. Sib was so sad. She cried and cried. She knows that her husband is probably not going to walk out of that hospital. Physical death sucks for both unbelievers and survivors.

Did you see? Daniel is back with a LJ! His user name is: zucchinispooks. I was so glad to read what all he had to say! I love his written word! I always have. He is such a gifted writer. I wish he would dedicate more time to that talent. He truly has no idea what a pleasure it is to read what he writes. I know Melissa will be glad to be reading again and to the newer readers I have: I invite you to check out the skilled writing of my beloved husband.

Well, it's off to bed for me. I am worn out and have a lot to accomplish tomorrow.

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The Antici.............pation!

Jan. 1st, 2006 | 12:34 pm
mood: giddy giddy

I am waiting not-so-patiently for Daniel to blog! He is at work now but has promised that a new blog will begin tonight. I wish this man knew how completely I love his writing! Oooh-ooh-ooh! I can't wait!

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January 1, 2005: What Happened That Night

Dec. 31st, 2005 | 10:55 pm
mood: good good

Last year I was casually blogging through THE most awesome moment of my life. I couldn't record the events as they took place because I was always in the midst of prying eyes and didn't really want to share too many details at that time. Looking back at the entry from 1/1/05 I guess I did a pretty good job of masking all that I was feeling. Here's a brief summary of how that night really unfolded:

Daniel came over around ten-thirty p.m. on New Year's Eve. He had to work that evening at Wal-Mart. He got off at ten and then headed straight over for our usual routine at the house. Toby sat on loveseat, Daniel and I sat on the couch drinking Diet Mountain Dew. Toby had been outside shooting off fireworks in the front yard. I don't generally like that sort of thing so I stayed inside. Daniel arrived just as the redneck-fest had ended. We all sat around chit-chatting until about 1:30 a.m. Toby announced that he was going to bed. This wasn't atypical or anything. He normally went to bed while Daniel and I stayed up and talked. On the occasion that Daniel did leave as Toby was going to bed, I'd stay up and IM with Daniel on the computer until four or five in the morning before heading to bed for a few hours of sleep. This night was not any different from any other recent night. At least up until that point.

Daniel and I talked a lot that night about our relationship and whether it was appropriate or not. We were so worn down by this point because of all the talk about town. People really cared more about gossiping about us than they did anything else there for about fifteen minutes. Daniel and I also talked some about some recent conversations that we had engaged in. One was back on the afternoon of the Calera Christmas parade. We talked on the phone for about four hours straight and while the subjects we discussed weren't really all that unusual, the tone in which they were spoken was highly inappropriate. We exchanged comments in a sensual tone several times and after our conversation was over that day I got on my face and prayed. I begged God to please stop this from happening and for Him to please, please not take Daniel's friendship from me. I asked Him to keep our relationship appropriate and pure. This was not the first time I had prayed these things. Oh, and it was in this conversation that Daniel presented me with the question: "Ami, am I in love with you?" "......No, I don't think so. I mean, I feel exactly the way you do about me but I am positive that we aren't in love." BS. I knew. He knew. I just wasn't ready for where we were headed.

The hours grew later, or earlier, on New Year's Eve. Daniel reflected back on a question he had asked me during the week before this night. One evening in our talks he asked me if I thought it would be inappropriate for him to kiss me on the lips with a closed mouth. I told him I thought it would be completely inappropriate. However, the evening before New Year's Eve, this soft, gentle goodbye kiss happened. It wasn't nearly as eventful as I had imagined. It wasn't a big deal, it was just a gentle peck such as when you kiss your grandmother goodbye. Nothing lingering. No biggie. I was okay with it. I really didn't expect that this would be an ongoing thing. I thought it was simply an expression of our caring for one another.

As we discussed further all that had gone on with our lives in the previous five months, the new year grew more and more comfortable. It was now about five a.m. As I sat sideways in the couch, Daniel also sideways facing me, he slowly leaned over and gazed into my eyes. His eyes were telling me that he honored me, that he adored and cherished me. I saw more in those eyes right then than I had seen in Toby's eyes in sixteen years. It was so unfamiliar and exciting. I don't remember what we were saying but Daniel drew closer to me and whispered to me, "If you can look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want this then I won't do it." I could do nothing of the sort. In the very next moment, our lips were connected. I had never been kissed like that. Ever. It was indescribable. The first kiss didn't last too long. It was perfect. I definitely do not remember what we talked about after that but I know that it was within that next hour where three or four more kisses ensued and then Daniel and I kissed goodbye on the front porch. He left me with these words: "I have never seen you look so happy and so at peace!" I'm not sure about the peace part but the happy part was right on. Never in my life had I 'been' that happy.

I felt this longing, most of my life, for something that I didn't have. I liken it to this: Sometimes when you are really hungry but nothing sounds very good, you eat the first thing you find in the pantry. It's a bag of chips. You were really craving something else but the chips were there and they served their purpose. After you finish eating them you aren't hungry anymore but you aren't really satisfied, either. You still want that "something" that you wanted before but you still aren't exactly sure what that "something" is. That was it with me. I settled into married life way too young because what I had seemed to serve the purpose. What I lacked was the satisfaction. I never had the joy inside that true love brings. I never had that feeling of someone desiring to move Heaven and Earth to show their love for me. I needed that. After all of what I had gine through with my dad choosing to not love me, I needed someone to love me, unconditionally. I knew that Daniel always did this.

This has never been a spiritual thing. My divorce and the guilt that I carry for breaking another person's heart, the knowledge that I went head-long into a sinful act, the understanding that while God did predestine all of this to happen, it was MY sin and I will be held accounatble for it. It has always been a psychological thing, never a spiritual thing.

This is a new year with lots of new beginnings. 2005 is gone and with it I bury a lot of wounds and grief. I look forward to a wonderful 2006 with the love of my life beside me and my kids around me. I always wonder each year what sort of devastation there will be in the upcoming year. I remember wondering it last year. I just had no idea. I have this feeling that everything this year will be calm compared to last year!

Mazel Tov!

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Top Fives

Dec. 31st, 2005 | 07:36 pm
mood: nostalgic nostalgic
music: Green Day: American Idiot

Okay. My final lists of 2005 are here. This is the second year of the following.

Five Things That Blew My Mind In 2005

5. Disappointment. It sounds weird but the situation at my former church was something that completely left me speechless. I know I did wrong and I know that after what happened happened I wouldn't be able to serve there anymore but the attitudes of the people were and are just incredibly un-Christian. I got to see first hand exactly why unbelievers are so skeptical of and cynical about "Christians." If you have no idea what I am talking about, read my archives from roughly a year ago.

4. Music. This was a very musical year for me. I purchased my iPod in February and began enjoying the exploration of downloading music. I was connected with songs I never knew existed. Each song, especially toward the beginning of this year, seemed to hold a message. I am finally back to the point where I can listen to music without feeling like the lyrics are screaming something at me.

3. My new congregation. Beth El Shaddai. Wow! What a group of misfits! We are a unique group but a very loving and compassionate group. I believe Yeshua would be proud to call these people His followers. I think each of these people, aside from having a heart for Israel, also has a heart for Yeshua. I am so blessed to be a part of something so holy and so rich.

2. Daniel. He continues to blow my mind. He and I came together this year and I totally believe that we are better together than we ever were apart. He has stepped up and taken this enormous responsibility. In the name of love. What a fantastic person. I love him.

1. Grace. It's been abundant this year. I am truly glad this year is over. I look forward to next year. I love the Lord and I pray that this is a year filled with opportunity and blessing. I will, undoubtedly, need much grace this year as well.


My Top Five Songs Of 2005

5. Mr. Brightside - The Killers...This was a cool song. Not one of those that like goes down in infamy or anything but I love the tagline: "It was only a kiss...how did it end up like this?"

4. Jesus Walks - Kanye West...Beautiful song. I love this one. Especially the Ma$e remix. This song was so powerful that the first time I heard it I actually got goosebumps.

3.Helena - My Chemical Romance...I became a huge MCR fan this year. Great group with great video chemistry. Helena ought to win video of the year with I'm Not Okay as runner-up.

2. Cry Out To Jesus - Third Day...Awesome new song from Third Day's November release, Wherever You Are. Mac, Mark and the guys will never fail to make my top five list. Third Day is my very favorite band.

1. Extraordinary Girl - Green Day...I listened to this song at a time in my life when I needed these lyrics. They helped me through a load of crap. I love Green Day's music anyway but this song was exceptionally meaningful to me in 2005.

She's an Extraordinary girl
In an ordinary world
And she cant seem to get away

He lacks the courage in his mind
Like a child left behind
Like a pet left in the rain

She's all alone again
Wiping the tears from her eyes
Some days he feels like dying
She gets so sick of crying

She sees the mirror of herself
An image she wants to sell
To anyone willing to buy

He steals the image in her kiss
From her hearts apocalypse
From the one called whatsername

She's all alone again
Wiping the tears from her eyes
Some days he feels like dying
She gets so sick of crying

She's all alone again
Wiping the tears from her eyes
Some days he feels like dying
Some days it's not worth trying
Now that they both are finding
She gets so sick of crying

She's an Extraordinary girl
an Extraordinary girl
an Extraordinary girl
an Extraordinary girl

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