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Jul. 18th, 2006 | 03:49 pm
mood: pissed off pissed off
music: None

There are seriously times during the day when I wish I had my computer in front of me. Times when I feel really creative and feel like updating my LJ. Unfortunately, when I have the computer in front of me I don't feel at all creative. I don't feel very good these days. i don't know if I am going through a major depression or what but I have no desire to do anything. I know I am struggling spiritually with some things but I wouldn't dare speak what those things are because I have a certain level of accountability and I know anyone who is in ministry understands what I am saying. If you don't get what I am saying then don't worry about it.

I thought this whole MySpace thing was going to be cool but so far it sucks voraciously. Why have a MySpace site? I haven't gotten a single person to say anything to me. I guess, perhaps, I don't understand what it's about. Do you have to just know a lot of people or something? I thought I was going to meet some new folks but apparently not.

I wrote my sister a letter today. I don't know why. I just felt compelled. I wanted to write Daniel's sister a letter but sad as this might sound, I am really not jazzed on the idea that she might come back around and join in the family again. I am just as good as Daniel's mom's daughter and I don't need to contend with the real daughter. It's probably a selfish attitude to have but it's my heart.

It's almost 10:30 pm and Daniel is still at work. How suck. I am ready for bed and will probably be asleep by the time he gets home since I have been up since 7am. Do you see how this sucks? That's the word for this day: SUCK.

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The Bumblebee Alchemist

Jul. 11th, 2006 | 09:25 pm
mood: geeky geeky
music: FMA Soundtrack: Rewrite

I'm now on MySpace.com. Check me out!

Today was perfectly SUCK at work. HAHA! Big friggin' surprise! Some gnarly old black woman came in and tried to accuse me of "erasing" the pictures off her negatives. She called me stupid and dishonest and told my manager that this wasn't the first time I had done this, either, because I did the same thing to her son's pictures. Two words for ya, honey: CHEAP ASS CAMERA. That's what you get. There's a perfectly logical explanation for what happened to her photos. She bought a cheap-o disposable camera and they are never light-tight so some of her negatives were exposed. Contrary to what she believes, there is no way to selectively erase images off of a negative. As soon as she called me dishonest Karl told her that the discussion was over and she could leave the store. Somehow I am sure I am now a racist, in her opinion, and that she will share that opinion with the rest of her aunties and cuzzins in town. The kicker is that she said these were pictures she took of some local cops "doing stuff they shouldn't have been doing." Mmmhmmm....

Courtney is feeling better! YAY! She is still weak looking but she is feeling stronger. This is a prayer answered. She really had me worried. We had her saline start yesterday so she is officially using her insulin pump, just not with insulin in it, yet. That starts next Monday. I desperately need to make eye and dentist appointments for the kids but I am so completely beat when I get home from work that I don't have it in me to get on the phone. Especially on days like today.

We have a weekend sans kids coming up and this will be the first in a month since Courtney stayed with us on the last Toby weekend. I am actually looking forward to it. Mainly because I know that the kids get so incredibly bored here at home all the time and because I wanty some quiet time with my man. I love that man. He rocks. We have been together over a year-and-a-half and I am more in love with him every minute that passes. As sucky as my life has become since Daniel lost his job at Cingular, I must say that it is all worth it, every second, to go to sleep beside the most fantastic person I have ever known and to wake up to his precious face. I'd do it all a thousand times again to be with Daniel. I love him.

Daniel did get called from DataFax about doing some testing. He is hoping to be able to get it all done tomorrow. I am going to call them and find out the status of my application. I am sure I know the answer but I will follow-up just to be able to put all that behind me. Hopefully Daniel will get hired over there so that maybe I won't have to work as much. If he gets $14.50 an hour then I want to go back to Bama Fever. I'd work just for spending money if Daniel made that much! I am definitely not getting my hopes up about any of this because I know where that gets you. We have a lot of people praying for things to work out for us and I know that they will. I am not worried.

Well, time to go to MySpace. I love it! It is so cool but no one has posted anything so I am a little bummed about that. I need some traffic through there! I've been thinking about some of my old friends lately. Wondering if they are doing okay. Bobb, Josh....where y'all been???


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Equivalent Exchange

Jul. 9th, 2006 | 11:46 am
mood: creative creative

Too bad there isn't something I can swap that will make LJ not SUCK! Part of the reason I never update anymore is because the site is either down or acting like it's possessed!

I applied and interviewed for a job at a place called Data Fax. This job would have been longer hours but would have given me better pay and good insurance. I didn't get the job. I guess I am not qualified. It's a Christian company but seriously, based on most of the other women that work in that office, I think I just didn't have big enough boobs and long enough bleached hair. :-/

So, that's that. I am still at the ultimate suck job: CVS. I've been there five months and it feels like I have shaved at least eight years off my life, already. It is the suckiest place on the planet. I didn't even shop there before I worked there if that tells you anything. I'll keep looking for another job but chances are it will be retail and I will hate that, too. Why are people so incredibly freakin' stupid? If you don't believe this to be fact then you haven't worked retail long enough.

Today is a day of catch-up. Courtney was in the hospital last week. It seems her Diabetes got the best of her. She had what is known as DKA (Diabetic Ketoacidosis). It is a deadly condition which must be treated immediately. She went to the hospital Friday and was discharged. We were told she was okay but then by Monday she was sick again and by Tuesday back in the ER. They admitted her on Tuesday and she stayed until Wed. night. I was pretty worried but I was much more relaxed once they were actually treating her in the hospital. She was in CCU, which had so many restrictions that me, Daniel and Toby couldn't be in the room with her at the same time. That was pleasant.

Toby and I got into a screaming match when I asked him to take Courtney to the ER Tuesday. He tried to turn it into a matter of me trying to get him out of work. He threw the whole child support increase in my face and said that I was taking half of his hours for the week. Boo friggin' hoo. I just have no sympathy for the man when he lives the type of lifestyle that he does. His children's well-being comes first, not his fancy apartment or his high-priced truck payment. He doesn't see it the same way I do, apparently. I am sure he believes that I am trying to pad my "lavish lifestyle." Me and my 1993 air conditioner-less mini-van and my dumpy double-wide. Yeah, I am living high on the hog with his $700 a month .

Anyway, Courtney is doing better and she will go in tomorrow to start saline running in her insulin pump. She is glad that the time is almost here when she will be fully dependent on the pump and she doesn't have to take shots anymore. That is a happy day, I know from experience.

I am already thinking about Halloween. Silly, I know. I am going to start building my Edward Elric costume, soon. The biggest hurdle will be the cloak. I don't really want to buy a pre-made one because so much of the time the cosplay stuff is cheap looking. I can't afford to have one made, though, so this is quite a dilemma. I think the auto-mail arm will probably be a bit tricky, too. I may not go for the auto-mail leg right away since pants and boots will cover it, anyway. Maybe I can get Daniel a suit of armour and he can be Alphonse. Too cool. Yes, this Halloween I will be the biggest thirty-five year-old geek on the planet. I don't care, though. The costume will rock.

I joined a dvd club and got the first seven FMA disks. Awesome. I am through the first four so far and they are just so cool. I am totally addicted. How cool would it be if a person could really do alchemy? Talk about fun! I had to get into FMA. Wrestling has become so predictable and lame right now. Maybe things will pick up but for now I am going to stick with this.

Okay, time to go do a little work on myspace. I hate that whole site but I want to create a neat FMA deal.

Y'all be good!

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My Day

Jun. 22nd, 2006 | 11:06 pm
mood: exhausted exhausted

SUCKED! Big friggin' surprise! I hate my job. I wake up and think of ways to get out of going to work. Once I am there I watch the clock, waiting for the day to be over. Once I am off all I can think about is how I don't want to go to work tomorrow. Does everyone hate their job as much as I do?

Daniel and Jordyn are playing HeroClix and I am about to fall asleep. I can barely see the screen in front of me. They all sleep until nine or ten everyday so they aren't sleepy when I am. I am sleepy all the time. I know this is an incredibly short and unimportant entry but I have go to get some sleep.

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Life Happens

Jun. 21st, 2006 | 11:59 pm
mood: drained drained

I can't believe it has been so long since I have updated. I won't be updating tonight but I just wanted to post something. I am alive. Barely. I am trodding through life. It's a pile of crap. I just got back from visiting my mom in Florida. I hadn't seen her in over a year. I have been working in the biggest hellhole. I can't stand my boss. He is a jerk. I am looking for something else. I want to sit in front of a computer screen all day. I am a geek. I am looking forward to jumping into FMA book 2. I am an FMA addict!!! Ed and Al have me captivated!

Anyway...I am going to go watch Cena on Conan and then go to bed. Hannah's at my mom's, Courtney is at KJ's and Jordyn has a friend over. It's a quiet night. See ya tomorrow.

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What Doesn't Suck

Mar. 20th, 2006 | 04:40 pm

It's probably a lot easier these days to make this list rather than making one of what 'does' suck. We've been in the new house for over a month, now. It sucks. There is very little unpacked because there just isn't enough time in the day to do anything but work and sleep. The job sucks, still. I hate it. I get there at eight and begin the countdown to two so that I can leave that place behind and go home. Something that doesn't suck: RAW. It rocked! March 8 was a very cool night. We sat so close and I got some really good pics. I'll finish this later. Lightning just hit something close by!!!

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You Can't See Me!

Feb. 8th, 2006 | 04:22 pm
mood: excited excited

Yep. Raw is coming to the BJCC. You know what that means...I will be there. Cena is fighting Edge and his Ho-Bag and I will be there, ready to cheer him on. I am not too sure how the evening will go with me being a card-carrying Chain Gang Soldier and Daniel holding a gallon of haterade. I am excited, nonetheless and can't wait to go. The kids are coming with. Can you say, $250+ for tickets??? Wow. It better be good!

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Things Will Never Be The Same....Still, I'm Awfully Glad I Came

Feb. 7th, 2006 | 08:01 pm
mood: amused amused
music: Yes: Leave It

I worked today. Yawn. I swear I can't wait to start at CVS just to have something to do. I mean, Bama Fever served its purpose and all but crap...man, it sucks. I loathe Bama and everything that loves it. Well, not true. Cary loves him some Bama and I don't exactly hate him but most people who love Bama are loathesome. After a lame-o five hours at the Galleria I went by and saw Daniel at work. I don't know if it is still the newlywedded bliss or what but my heart jumps when I see him. Still. After all this time he can bring a smile to my face even when I am feeling wired. After I talked to my beloved for a piece I went grocery shopping. New paragraph.

It still astounds me that the people in Calera, Alabama are so completely stupid. A town, gripped by the melodrama of each others' meaningless lives. It is so ridiculous the way this town, and I am sure many other rural Bible-belt towns, perpetuates the stereotype portrayed in Hollywood. People not from the South think that Southerners are backwoods, self-righteous, "God-fearing" folk. They view the South as hot and humid in the summers. A place where neighbors look in on and out for each other. Where housewives hang clothes on the line while gossipping with their neighbors about what (or who) the other women in town are doing. It's an endearing image, really. The truth is that this town of Calera is a rotten apple. On the surface it appears as this quaint little town that time forgot. When I moved to Calera it was still real small. I would get stares as I walked into Wal-Mart because people knew you weren't from around "these parts." The longer I was a part of the community, the more people began moving out of the city and into this rural area to escape the cost and hassle of Hoover, Pelham and even Birmingham. Soon enough, most everyone in your midst was a stranger. I would frequently hear from other women in my church how they hated the growth of Calera and how they remembered when Calera was a small town. I wasn't considered an outsider for some reason. I never could figure that out. I hadn't lived there very long but for some reason I was embraced by the "hens" in the town/church. No doubt about it, Calera, Alabama used to revolve around "The Baptist Church." I was so content to stay nestled amongst the bigotry, hatred and intolerance (man, I hate that word but it fits here).

Suffice it to say, I am no longer a valued part of Calera, Alabama. I simply sinned too much for these folks. I was a filthy adultress and it seems that they are all so sinless that my leperous face was just too much for their spotless garments. @@ I always love to go to the Calera Wal-Mart. I used to go out of my way to avoid it but now, ah now, I LOVE going there. I hope secretly each time I go that I will run into people who I once called friends and who I once thought gave a rat's ass about me. The more of these people I see and then watch as they drop their heads and walk as far away from me as they can, the better. I love making them feel uncomfortable merely by my presence! Now, I realize this is not a very Christian-like attitude to have but at this point, THEY are the ones with the problem. Not me. I guess, in some way, I hope that by me holding my head up while they duck theirs for whatever reason, that they, too, will realize just how ridiculous they are.

Small, southern towns are suffocating. While I don't advocate it, I understand why there are those who lash out in violent ways toward outspoken Christians and church buildings. People have brought so much hatred into this world in the name of Christianity.

You never know where you're going to be in a year.

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Feb. 4th, 2006 | 09:23 am
mood: weird weird

That's what there is in my house right now. Complete and utter silence. It's nice. I can't believe I haven't blogged in so long. Crap. Well, the house we are moving into is less than great. I am quite distraught over it, in fact. I love the house I am in right now. It is a mobile home but when you walk in it you can't tell. There are sheetrock walls and the doors and windows are all housey looking. I don't think that's a word but the point is that this house doesn't look trailer-ish like the one we are moving into. There is blue carpet in the forthcoming home. Blue? WTF? Who has blue carpet??? It's that ugly, patterned looking crap, too. It seriously looks like someone committed a mass murder in some areas of the home. There are big, red stains. Probably Kool-Aid but you never know. We went and did a walk-through the other day and the people who owned the house prior to now had left everything they owned in it. It looked as if they maybe took a change of clothes and a toothbrush and left everything else. We went through and got some stuff that we wanted. Otherwise it was all headed to the dump the next morning. I got a Baby Born that apparently belonged the the girl child that lived there. Ezra found a Jessica Alba/Sin City poster that he is completely enamored with. His remarks were priceless. "Why would anyone leave this beauty behind?" Gotta love a nearly-eight-year-old boy's thought process. Daniel found an N64 and an old school Play Station. That rocks. The PS will go on eBay and we will keep the N64. We are going to have to make this house work for us. It is a crappy house, it is small, it is in disgusting condition, but we are out of this house in a few days and we have no choice.

On a happier note, I put in my notice at Bama Fever yesterday! Why? You ask. Well, because I got a new job at CVS Pharmacy! Yay on me! I start a week from Monday. The store is about ten minutes from the house so no more $250 a month for gas. I was driving about 65-70 miles a day to Hoover for work and it was wearing on me. Now, the furthest we have to go for jobs is the fifteen or so miles Daniel drives to Book-A-Million. My pay will be $1.50 more an hour than I am getting at Bama Fever and I will run the front end as well as the photo lab. How cool. I get to learn photo lab equipment and digital photo equipment. That friggin' rocks! The best part of it all is that my schedule will run 30-35 hours a week with weekends off. My hours will be 8-2, sometimes 8-4. I am so thankful for this. I needed this so much. Apparently, God thought so, too.

So, overall, everything isn't rotten. The house situation is less than wonderful but we just work with what we have and go from there. Courtney has a pageant today and Ezra has baseball evaluations so I am going to go get ready for all of that.

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(no subject)

Jan. 25th, 2006 | 08:03 pm
mood: busy busy

"List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your LiveJournal along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to."

Mashiach Ben-David - Lenny and Varda

Ana Ng - They Might Be Giants

How Do You Know? - Third Day

Theme from the Fall Guy - Lee Majors (At least I think it's him singing...)

Truly Amazing - POD

Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealer's Wheel ( I love Resevoir Dogs! )

Everlong (Acoustic version) - Foo Fighters

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